7 Very Short Akatsuki Drabbles
by Sheeana797
Summary: Tobi is…well, Tobi.


Title: 7 Very Short Akatsuki Drabbles or _Why Akatsuki is Slowly Losing all the Respect and Fear with Which They Were Once Regarded_

Pairing(s): None

Rating: PG

Total Word Count: 813 (told you they were short)

Summary: Tobi is…well, Tobi. No spoilers really, except in 06, which sort of has some.

01. Breakfast

Hidan awoke to the smell of…something. It wasn't a usual Akatsuki headquarters something, either, not like the smell of rotting bodies or fresh blood. It was, dare he say it, a pleasant smell, and that just didn't sit right.

He briefly debated going to pray (and, of course, sacrifice some poor hapless villager) first, but the matter of this smell was far too pressing. He made his way to the kitchen. However, before he could actually _set foot_ in said room, he froze. And stared.

Tobi was…no. No, that wasn't right; Tobi wasn't _really_ using his scythe to chop strawberries for his crepes while wearing that terribly pink apron. Really.

Tobi turned and smiled.

"Would you like some crepes, Hidan-san?"

Hidan gawked.

02. Invitations

Tobi worked tirelessly over his desk. Almost…finished…there. He grinned and held up his finished product to inspect it, then dropped it onto the top of the pile with all the others.

Kakuzu watched him, puzzled. This sheer waste of materials was beyond him.

Tobi frowned at his next piece…clearly, there was not nearly enough ribbon. He set to work immediately to right this terrible problem. After three more rolls of ribbon, five pink cut-out hearts, and a picture of he and Deidara (BFF), he deemed it ready and added it to the pile. Proud of himself, he got to work on another one.

Kakuzu just couldn't understand the necessity of sending assassination victims scented thank you notes.

03. Houseplants

Zetsu watched with something bordering amazement while Tobi skittered from dangerous carnivorous plant to dangerous carnivorous plant, humming happily and watering them. He somehow managed to miss all of the venomous thorns, constricting vines, poisonous pools of nectar, and razor-sharp sawgrass while he practically danced in between the (giant) pots.

"There you go!" Tobi chirped at the seven-foot-tall Venus Fly Trap. It hissed and snapped at his head…or, at least, where his head had been a moment before. He'd already moved on to the next plant, a bush with thorns the size of kunai.

Zetsu shrugged. It takes all kinds.

04. Games

Ah, Saturday nights. A time for relaxation and staying up late...even for dangerous S-Rank criminals. In the Akatsuki living room, the T.V. was on, and all of the various members had gathered for their usual Saturday night programs.

However, as soon as Tobi pulled out his board games, it was clear that tonight would not be a usual night. Half an hour later saw the entire Akatsuki organization deeply engrossed in a thrilling game of Clue.

"...it was Professor Plum in the ballroom with a candlestick who killed Mr. Black," said Itachi finally, winning the game.

"Actually…" replied Zetsu, "I think I remember him."

"Oh?" asked Kisame.

"He was dinner last week."

Leader wondered idly why he'd agreed to let Tobi join Akatsuki.

05. Friends

Tobi's gasp of joy when he saw his new room scared Deidara half to death.

"It…it….it is BEAUTIFUL. Tobi is so thankful, Deidara-san!"

"…………."

Not a single day went past since then that Deidara didn't bitterly regret Sasori's death and his new partnership. Tobi was loud, childish, highly irritating, and worst of all, **a good boy**.

So when Deidara walked into their (his) room, while he was somewhat prepared for anything Tobi could dish out, this just hadn't ever been added into his calculations.

Tobi beamed at him stupidly, adding another sticker to the clay bird he was carefully decorating.

"Oh! Whoops, it's almost dinnertime, I better go make dessert!" Tobi exclaimed, and left for the kitchen.

Deidara screeched and ran after his completely incompetent partner.

06. Gossip

"So," whispered Tobi as he plopped down next to Itachi on the couch, "I hear that Deidara-san is really a girl."

"Hn," was Itachi's only reply.

"And that you're going blind."

"Hn."

"And that your Jinchuuriki's father is really the Fourth Hokage."

"Hn."

"And you know what…some people say I'm really Uchiha Obito in disguise!" Tobi hissed in a conspirational whisper.

Itachi suddenly really, really wished he was still at home with his family.

07. Market

"Oh, oh, I want some of that!" Tobi yelled gleefully, running over to a nearby vendor.

Kisame followed him dutifully. He carried the bags of merchandise Tobi had already purchased, hoping fervently that this wasn't going to be tonight's dinner. He gradually turned greener and greener from the awful smell.

Tobi ran from stall to stall, staring wide-eyed at all the shiny products.

Kisame wondered what had _possessed_ Tobi to bring him to a fish market.


End file.
